Cutting calories even a little bit makes me OBSESSED with food. Please help.

31 F, 168 cm, 96 kg Goal: 77 kg

I have been trying to lose weight for about 10 years but havent lost any weight during that time. I tried keto and IF and vegan and all sorts of things. Two years ago I decided to focus primarily on health and I began an exercise program that I am continuing today (2 hours of biking/day) and just recently added weight lifting (1 hour per day, skipping weekends). But.... still havent lost any weight. Gotten test, hormone panel is normal, blood work fine, no insulin resistance or PCOS. My doctor says I should be losing weight, so long as I take care to eat healthy. Currently I only eat 2 meals a day, though both are normal portions (for my country-- I live in Japan).

I think the only way forward is calorie counting and restriction but heres the thing like...

It is SO hard to find out how many calories to eat. I tried 1200 kcal for a bit, but would get so weak and dizzy during workouts that I had a few very close calls. I then raised it to what the TDEE calculator told me would work, 1900 kcals, but at that level the weight loss is SO slow. Thus far 1600 kcal seems to be the most effective, losing about 1 lbs per week, but whenever I get on it I am literally OBSESSED with food.

I wake up and go to sleep hungry. I spend every other minute between meals checking the clock for when I can eat again. I look up recipes and make plans and grocery lists and watch cooking videos. If my coworkers eat at their desk, the smell is over powering and I basically just stare at it. I dream about eating.

So eventually I break. I dont know what to do! The only calorie deficit that doesnt make me crazy like this is so small that if I slip up even a little bit during the week Im fucked, and the weight loss rate is so slow that it means Id need to go years without a mistake (like literally 2-3 years assuming no mistakes). I cant handle years of weighing all my food, avoiding eating out with friends, avoiding alcohol or holidays etc.

So idk now Im looking at a few things:

1. Appetite suppressants. Going to my doctor to see if they can just like idk drug me up.

2. Some sort of meditative, zen something self help book to teach me mental exercises to get my mind off of food. Think Alan Carr's quit smoking book but for food.

Anyone got something that worked for them?

submitted by /u/arthouse2k2k
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/rhfbw6/cutting_calories_even_a_little_bit_makes_me/