healthy weight loss advice

hi, first of all trigger warning for disordered eating, body image & weight

15 F at a healthy bmi here, that would like to lose a lot of fat and tone up i was wondering how to start a healthy weight loss.. i seem to only know far left (binging) or far right (starving). i always feel guilty when i eat and i cant listen to my hunger cues due to guilt and a strong desire to be sickly thin which eventually leads to these huge binges… im really tired of being in this horrible state. food controls my whole life and i want to be the one who controls food, not the other way around. i keep losing and gaining the same few pounds because i fast until im eventually forced to eat by people around me, which only leads to emotional distress, breakdowns and honestly even binging ngl.

im sorry for the vent and a broad question but i want to lose weight and idk how to do it healthily i guess.. or more accurately- i do know how, i just cannot make myself do it? does anyone relate? or have any advice? thank you

submitted by /u/sfynks
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/rn7c7h/healthy_weight_loss_advice/