I am a mid 30s woman, 5 foot 7, and 23 stone. I have been overweight all my life, and was even born over 10lb. I became obese in my late teens and its gotten worse since then.
My dad and his mom were both the same. They both were dead by 40s. Both for weight related illnesses. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror yesterday and I honestly just saw my dad. As I'm getting older, the more and more I look like him. Our genetics seem to be very similar... we have the same hair, same colouring, same physical problems. My mom and siblings are not the same. My son seems to be the same as me. I am so scared for him.
This is hard to admit, but I am scared that I will be dead soon and so I am making a massive jump. I think I have an eating disorder. I don't make myself sick or anything, but I just don't feel in control of my eating. I eat normal meals, breakfast lunch and dinner, and they are normally balanced. But, I eat in secret. I eat so much rubbish, lots of sugar, sweets, chocolate, cake, biscuits etc. I make excuses to go out to buy it, and then I eat in the car quickly before anyone realises I'm gone too long. I go to different shops and sometimes buy other stuff to make it look like I'm making a cake or something, just so the cashiers don't judge.
Yesterday, when I saw my dad in the mirror, I realised he used to do the same thing. He hid food, hed be startled if I came in when he was eating chocolate etc. I think this is a bigger problem than I have realised before.
I have never ever lost weight. I have managed a few pounds here or there but never for longer than a month. I really think I might need proper help- but have no money to do it.
I would love to hear from people who have been in this position before, or anyone who can offer advice. I have a very supportive husband, but he does not know about the binge eating. He is not overweight at all, and takes care to not over indulge.
Thanks in advance.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/r9befq/how_to_stop_history_repeating_itself/
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