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Sunday, December 4, 2022

At 30 I have finally reached my breaking point.

This is a rant.

I’ve struggled a lot these past couple years with weight gain. I got prescribed abilify and started gaining a lot. I didn’t think too much about it but now I am 202 pounds. I have been 120-140 my whole life. My husband has lost about 80 pounds in the past two years and I feel like I have just gained everything he lost. I feel broken, ugly, disgusting and every other negative adjective out there.

It doesn’t help that I have always suffered with body dysmorphia. Even when I was 140 pounds I thought I was fat and disgusting. I haven’t been able to take a selfie and smile in about 3 years. I just stone cold face it and hate everything about it. I’m struggling. I’m in therapy and trying everything I can out. But then I’m not. I’m making excuses. I blame everything on the pills or the depression or anything else besides myself. I am the reason I am here.

I’m done making excuses. I’m now starting 8:16 fasting and going to the gym every day. Even if it’s just for some yoga I will still be there. I have to get healthy again. I can’t go to my older sisters wedding and still look like this. I’m aiming for at least 170 by April. I can do this.

submitted by /u/Marianzillaa
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/zctkis/at_30_i_have_finally_reached_my_breaking_point/

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