Pretty much what the title says. So I have a scale in my bathroom and I literally never even look at it or step foot on it, and I haven’t in over a year or felt the need to ever because I’ve gained some weight here and there, but I thought I’ve looked okay. I‘ve always been on the curvier side but now I’ve never been this heavy. My tummy isn’t that bad, it’s pudgier than it used to be but i didn’t think I weighed this much. I feel like I’ve been blind and I’m so disappointed with myself. My boyfriend definitely prefers some curves and loves my tummy, he’s always told me that I’m beautiful just the way I am and that I should only want to lose weight if it’s for myself and for my health so that definitely made me feel less insecure about it, but now I’m realizing I want to more than ever for my health especially because I’m only 5”2 and I know this weight can cause a lot of problems on my body in the future and even now. I left high school at around 140 lbs and in college hit around 150 lbs, now I’m a couple years out of college and for the first time in my life I weigh 179 lbs. i can’t believe it I really don’t know how I got here. I’m in complete shock. I didn’t even think I looked that bad and now every time I look at myself in the mirror I just see my body so differently and I hate this feeling. I started to seriously count my calories and started to diet about a year ago bc I knew I had put on some weight in the wrong areas, but then I tore my ACL skateboarding and my life became pretty sedentary for a bit while I had to heal. I’m about 8 months post-op and I’m definitely feeling okay to get back in the gym and to start a healthier lifestyle working out more. But I swear I just can’t shake this feeling of disgust especially with myself and I know that it’s not going to help feeling this way but I feel like it seems so impossible right now. I’ve been dieting for like two months and I thought I even saw some changes in my body like I was feeling happy, but now I don’t even know what changes I would be talking about. I just feel so defeated. It’s crazy because my weight gain happened so quickly and I hadn’t even changed my lifestyle that much in the last couple years I feel like I was eating pretty similarly it happened pretty quick at the beginning of Covid and I was around 155 lbs but now I can’t believe it’s gotten to this point.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/1349253/22f_i_weighed_myself_for_the_first_time_in_over_a/
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