Scared to eat in front of others

Hi everyone! I’m a college student (F, 5’7 ~260 lbs) that is really struggling to eat food in front of people, specifically in the cafeteria.

To clarify, I can eat in front of a close group of friends if we’re having a meal together (I’m still a little bit anxious but it’s not that bad and feel comfy for the most part). However, it’s those times where I’m in the cafeteria alone and I just cannot seem to do it. For example, at dinner today I had a nutritious meal together on my tray but only ate a few bites as I anxiously looked around the cafeteria, scanning for anyone that would be “judging” me or looking disgusted. I then ditched my meal and had a really strong urge to binge.

This kind of thinking has taken over my life since I started college, but particularly this year. I think I’ve had fewer than 20 dinners in the cafeteria this entire year and normally I just get dinner out, many of which have been binges. The breakfast options aren’t great so I end up eating Starbucks/yogurt in my room and lunch I’ll typically take to-go cups of cafeteria food and eat in my room.

It feels super fucked up and it really just sucks. I know it’s entirely internalized and all in my head but I just get so much anxiety when in the cafeteria. It’s even worse because my cafeteria has healthy options and it would be easy to stay on track with my calorie deficit, but I just cannot seem to eat in the dining hall without feeling like there are 100 eyes on me waiting to judge me no matter what I eat. I fucking hate it.

I love asking my friends to get food with me but I can’t do that all the time because people are busy and doing other things. So, if anyone can relate or has any advice for getting over this issue, I would appreciate it so so much. Thank you for reading <3

submitted by /u/izzyttrium
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/12r9lvv/scared_to_eat_in_front_of_others/