Hi, I'm 19F and I deal with severe depressive episodes and have been since 2018.
I've always had disordered eating ever since I was young, calorie counting just isn't an option for me since I was put on MyFitnessPal by my parents when I was 13. Because I was so young I misunderstood how calories worked and ended up eating less than 600 calories a day for a few years. I then went to an all girls high-school where eating was also not an option as many of my "friends" were anorexic or bulimic and would make fun of any food you ate at lunch. Because of this I would starve myself all day only to then go home and binge on food, only to start the cycle again the next day. This cycle was only sustainable during high-school and when I left those bad habits followed me and before I knew it I weighed 78kgs. I'm 165cm (5"4) and my goal weight is 59kgs.
I have tried over and over and over again to get into good habits but the longest I've managed to last is 3 months before falling back into a depressive spiral and going to food for comfort. I deal with a lot of self hatred so it's really hard to talk about this kind of thing, and social media really doesn't' help when I see any girl that looks like me get absolutely bombarded with the most disgusting comments I've ever read. Despite those comments not being directed at me I always believe them and my self hatred gets worse. I've never like the whole "bullying someone into being skinny" thing but yet here I am. As much as I don't believe anyone should be treated like that I treat myself the worst out of it all.
I've been living like this for 2 years and I've sustained the weight because I don't eat heaps but I also don't exercise. I don't have anyone I can talk to about this and I can tell my parents are ashamed of me. I am as well. Any advice is welcome and I'm incredibly sorry if this post comes across as self pitying, I do genuinely want to change but I just don't have the tools to know how.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/12rdoc3/any_advice_for_someone_trying_to_lose_weight/
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