Scared to start/ commit due to my mental health issues

Hi all

Im a 46F, I have a history and fam filled with mental healt issues...and my mom and dad and whole family always ate ate and ate....and dieted dieted etc.. I was heavy a lot or I stopped eating and menstruating as a teenager

As an adult I was heavy. In kg up to 98kg, pregnant even 105kg.

I was on ADs a lot which made me gain weight. In a period without meds and in a bipolar/ BPD state and on drugs and alcohol and with bad companionship I lost up to into the 68/69. Gained back again to 79 and with the gym and a diet to 71 now But due to social anxiety now flairig up Im at home 24-7...and with a 1300-1500cal diet a day not loosing anything.

But..also not gaining muscles, which I do want to gain, I was into sportsclimbing and calesthenics and weights but not rn due to ment.h...

So Im scared I wont loose weight ( I want to weigh 62 or 63 kg) and to have loose skin..

Those 2 fears put me off of starting.... Im lost, scared of loose skin--> not working out.... scared of not loosingg weigt--> not starting....

Stupid head 😶🥺😖😶

submitted by /u/Vpk-75
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/qkaavy/scared_to_start_commit_due_to_my_mental_health/