My basic weight loss journey is I went from 320lbs => 180 at age 18. At age 21 I went from 240 => 190. At age 24 I went from 225 => 180. Starting this June I was at 285 and am now at 230, target weight 180.
I went on a long hike today and thought up some new goals for myself. Once I got home, I journaled and wrote all of these goals down. This made me think back to 6 years ago when I was in the lowest point of my life and came up with a ton of very difficult goals for myself, and then was able to achieve all of them in a year.
I opened my old journal to reminisce and celebrate these old achievements. What I found instead has me fucking pissed at myself. Back in 2015 when I wrote the journal entry, I had just broken up with my girlfriend and was 225 pounds. I wrote how I was disappointed that I let myself gain weight during a relationship for the second time. I wrote that this is a terrible loop that I need to identify and never repeat. I wrote this would be the last time I lost the weight for good. Spoiler alert: I repeated the same cycle again. Today I had the mindset that I am losing weight for good, and that I will never allow myself to gain it back. Seeing that I identified the same issue 6 years ago and then repeated it is absolutely devastating. At this point I wonder if I really am doomed to repeat the same cycle.
Sorry if this is a bit of a rant, but I needed to share this. I wonder if anyone has been through a similar experience.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/r4lcm5/i_read_an_old_journal_entry_from_the_last_time_i/
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