from dieting to starving

i don't want to share my bodily goals etc. here because i feel awful about it.

so i came here right after i had hit my highest with a bmi of 26, just a few weeks ago. i posted, mentioning that i needed support and that this time i wanted to diet without falling out again. so, good news, i didn't fall out, i am losing it. bad news, i'm not dieting, i'm starving.

it's just that my past of anorexia is so.. effective on me? whenever i try to lose weight, it's either starved weight or i fall out of the diet. i remember fluctuating between overweight and underweight all my life, that at this point.. i don't know. i was planning a 4 day starve but i came here instead. i am tired of affecting my girlfriend so horribly, but i feel like the only time i feel comfort in my body is when i am getting hunger pains. it's like an addiction at this point, if i don't have alcohol or painkillers, i have this.

what do i do?

submitted by /u/embzsd
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/r4epvj/from_dieting_to_starving/