I really hope this year was worth it

M/19/5’8 SW: 230lbs CW: 157 GBF: 8%

I have been reflecting on this past year. I have had to make so many sacrifices in order to get this surgery coming up in April. As soon as I found out I had loose skin I cried for hours. After that I landed in therapy and on antidepressants because I didn’t even want to be seen, I saw no point in continuing if I had put all this effort and I was just left with a shell of my former self. I have had to miss vacations, time with friends, relationships all because I’ve had to work my ass off to afford this surgery. This experience has been brutal and I hope no one else has had to battle body dsymorphia this badly. I have pushed myself consistently for years to get to where I wanted and I had to shift my focus to financial. At 19 this shit is difficult seeing all your friends flourish while you have to take a step back to get to this goal. I hope to look back and maybe see this experience with different eyes but rn all I can say is I’m exhausted and this past year has been harder than loosing the weight. I hope after the surgery I can look at myself with new eyes.

submitted by /u/onlyondaysoff
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/qssdgc/i_really_hope_this_year_was_worth_it/