Covid-19 and kids

Hi,

​

Posting here impulsively. I tend to overwrite - will try and keep it short. Don't know if this is the right place for this post.

Starting point:

>December 2018 274lbs
>My job was a private music teacher and performer. Hours of work ~2pm-9pm 5 days a week.
>One child, 1.5 years old
>No covid shutdowns

Events:

>New job January 2019 salary. Hours of work 9-5pm. Still teach on the side. A few students only, Sunday-Tuesday after work.
>New baby February 2019. 2 children total now.

Peak:

>March/April 2019. 195lbs. Felt fantastic. 70-80 pounds lost. Could run 5 miles in 45-50 minutes.
>Tracked all my food in MyFitnessPal for over a year. Every meal. 180g carbs 180g protein 80g fat per day.

Events:

>Covid shutdown everything including gyms March 2019. I bought home weights to try and keep up. Downhill trend began. Would run outside. Tried all kinds of things to stay active. 2 kids + new job + covid shutdowns made me feel very stressed, overworked and depressed. Always had an addictive personality. Began eating terribly to cope. Began skipping workouts here and there.

September 2021, 250lbs again. Not active again. Feel terrible. The new clothes Id bought myself obviously no longer fit. Some clothes Id thrown out Ive had to replace.

Im not very good at writing about this but its hard to express how much of a failure I feel like. And yes I realize its my fault, and that this didn't happen overnight. I'm having a hard time deciding how hard on myself I should be. The gym closing killed me and my momentum. Part of what helped me lose all the weight was a routine that was easy to maintain. I would go to the office with a premade meal that was portioned. I would go to the gym and sometimes workout with a trainer, sometimes alone. I would play squash with a friend (that also closed during Covid shutdowns). Being stuck working from home made lunches harder. I have an addictive personality and love food. My wife and kids dont eat and didnt eat the same food I did, and so it became harder to resist eating alongside them.

I also only had one child when I lost all the weight, and two is immensely more challenging. At least is has been for me. I don't even know if its possible for me to lose weight again from a time management angle.

I have no idea why I'm posting here. Don't know if Im looking for advice or just someone to relate to my experience. It sucks, though. The hardest part right now is time management and energy levels. I wake up at 8am, drop kid off at school (other one we look after while working from home), work till 5, make the kids dinner (or watch them while my wife does), put the kids to bed. By then its 8-9pm and Im exhausted. Im not a morning person, and don't think I have the discipline to workout before 8am. When I lost the weight the first time I worked my job from 2pm onwards. Working out at 9am-noon (in that range) was easy.

Part of me thinks Im just making excuses. And maybe someone reading this also thinks that. But another part of me also thinks that this is just fucking hard. Maybe Im not cut out for it. The idea of waking up at 6:30am to workout from ~6:45-7:45 is daunting not just because Im not a morning person, but how am I supposed to stay awake the rest of the day to be productive at job + dinner + bedtime? Im already having struggles with energy and I dont do that. Maybe diet is the place to start, but everytime I try I don't last long. Id like support from my wife - tangible support with healthy eating. Very hard for someone like me to eat chicken and broccoli when she's eating McDonalds next to me, as an example. She is also overweight and struggles in her own ways, I don't harbor resentment towards her when I say Id like support, only that I know if she could it would help us both.

Anyways thanks for reading.

submitted by /u/Oliokath
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/r01u2l/covid19_and_kids/