Trigger warning: Eating disorder
This is really hard to write. Basically I had anorexia nervosa for a long time and was sectioned mutiple times for it.
During recovery I ended up becoming bullimic and binge eating instead. I put on a lot of weight very quickly which was terryfying.
I managed to stop both behaviours but replaced it with alcohol and become addicted to that. After intervention and an addiction support worker I managed to quit drinking.
Its been about a year since I quit drinking and I now have a baby. To be a good mum I put food concerns to the back of my mind and stopped worrying as much about what I ate. I saw mums with anorexia in hospital and they were not nice to their kids, I didn't want to be like that.
During early pregnancy I was weighed for the first time since I was anorexic. I had a BMI of 26. Overweight. My whole mind snapped in pieces. My worst fears come true.
Ive given myself 6 months postpartum but now I need to lose weight. I dont want to weigh myself incase the number triggers my ED thoughts too much as I need to stay sane for my baby. Im so scared of trying yo diet as whenever I start my ED thoughts get so loud and i start getting scared to sit down etc. So, I go back to pushing my ED thoughts away and not thinking about food beyond grabbing food when I'm hungry.
Cooking sets my ED thoughts off like mad so I tend to just eat cereal, snacks and things like baked beans out of the tin. When my husband is home in the evening he cooks meals for us.
All the diet recommendations are triggers - counting calories, the gym, keeping a food diary, weighing myself etc.
I want to lose weight, get fitter and develop a healthy relationship with food so i can be a good mum. But i dont know how to start without triggering my ED.
Any advice or has anyone been in a similar situation?
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/qqeyl6/advice_needed/
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