I've been bouncing up and down the same twentyish pounds since I had my daughter 2.5 years ago. The highest I've ever been. The laziest I've ever been, staying home with her most days.
And I'm scared. I'm in healthcare, and I have an old back injury that flared up a bit recently. I know what to do with it. But I've gotten so soft since I stopped being 10-15k steps a day working on my feet full time. I'm at work now but most the job people are sleeping and I'm sitting. I'm a lot more still. I've put myself on the back burner, working weekends and some nights to raise her around his schedule, and because childcare is so expensive. I can feel my stomach muscles trying to take some of the burden while I'm easy on my back and I can feel how weak I am. Outings for my kid have had me struggling to breathe reaching the top of hills. I haven't felt this unhealthy since I was a teen. I didn't do it the smart way then. I developed a different disorder after binging my whole life. Ended up Ed Nos. Lost a hundred pounds and most of my ability to stand without fainting for awhile there. I have dipped down and up, back and forth my whole damn life from excess to nothing and back again. Trying just fucked with my mind so I stopped. But I have to figure this out finally.
She needs me to play. And she needs me to be strong. It isn't not knowing what I need to do. It is the ability to do it healthfully, and lovingly, without malice or hatred for myself. To not make it a punishment, or a part of my personal identity. How do you just lose weight without.it taking over every fiber of your being?
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/qremql/ive_done_it_i_think_ive_finally_scared_myself/
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