Hi friends. I am a 6'2" 27 y/o man and in May 2018, I weighed 325lbs. It was a very stressful point in my life, but I got to a point where I felt like I was eating myself to death and I made a radical 180 in my life. In November 2018 I weighed 239lbs. I did all of that purely on changing my diet. Then I added exercise and in August 2019 I weighed 225lbs. Photo if you are curious (NSFW). I started maintaining that weight and focusing on muscle growth. This went well until the end of February 2020 when I went to Mexico. I was at my lowest weight ever (220lbs) and I just decided to not worry about what I was eating at Mexico for the week. I came home from the trip up 25lbs. That sounds insane, but I gain and lose weight fast. I tried to get back into my routine, but a series of life events hit me, plus covid, and I started overeating again. I know it's an excuse, but it's my reality.
Now, in November of 2021 I am back up to 310 lbs. Probably more after this weekend, but I don't want to weigh myself. Frankly, I am devastated and it's destroying my mental health. I am so angry at myself. I finally got to a healthy place for the first time in my life. I felt amazing, and I let it all slip away. I know I can't keep going like this but I feel like I have some weird body dysmorphia or maybe it's just severe guilt over what I have done to myself. Idk, but it's tearing me apart right now. I'm literally starting to cry just writing this. I have gotten back into a gym routine since September, but it's my diet that needs to change. I'm single and cook for myself, but I hate cooking so much. I live in a very small town so there aren't healthy take out options. Even when I do get motivated to cook something, by the time I'm done work I have lost all motivation and end up eating McDonalds or something else. I will leave food in my fridge that I like until it goes bad because I have no motivation to cook.
I don't know why I'm even writing this. I suppose its a cry for help. I'm just so sad and want so badly to go back in time, but I know thats not possible. Any words of encouragement or ideas? Thanks for reading.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/qthzjl/i_have_lost_then_gained_back_100_pounds_and_i/
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