5'5/260/21F
I want to attempt losing weight again after the thanksgiving holiday. I lost around 30 pounds summer of 2020, but then I gained everything back. I really want to start trying again before New Years because I don't think its ever too early to start a resolution.
I don't look anywhere as big as I weigh so, I've always used that as an excuse not to lose weight. My friends would tell me I look great so, why lose weight if people don't know how much I weigh? However, I'm finally coming to realize that I just want to be healthy and be happy and I finally understand that losing weight isn't for anyone else other than me.
This past summer, I ended up attempting to commit suicide and since then, my mental health has been getting a lot better. So, I think now would be a really good time to focus on myself. I'm not too worried about being active, I have 2 dogs and walk them a good amount and I just plan on increasing our walks. From my understanding, exercising will supplement weightless and be helpful for the long run, but its really CICO that will help with losing weight.
My only problem is that whenever I do CICO, I become EXTREMELY obsessive. A 15 min grocery run will turn into an hour as I go through the aisles looking at which product has the least amount of calories. Cooking also takes hours because I'm so focused to tracking and getting the caloric math correct to the T. In addition to this, I've struggled with an eating disorder through out my whole life and I find that tracking calories just gets me too obsessed with numbers. However, tracking calories did work for me in the past.
So, I was wondering if you guys have any pointers or if anyone has a similar experience. I just really want to wake up every day feeling like the best version of myself and I feel guilty that its taken me this long to realize that my health matters. Any tips, courage, advice would really be appreciated.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/qzar7m/seeking_weightloss_journey_help/
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