F / 5’4 / 26 / SW: 286 CW: 266
Had a small moment today where my being fat interfered with something I was trying to do. I’m intentionally trying to be vague for privacy’s sake but it was a similar situation to a fat person being turned away from a rollercoaster because they won’t fit / it’s unsafe.
I understand that my weight is a huge problem and limits me in a lot of ways, not to mention its obvious detriment to my health. I’m YOUNG and so upset that I’ve done this to myself, but I feel so lost on how to get out of it. I feel incredibly stuck in my body. Anyway, I’ve been making small changes to try to point myself in the right direction (reducing sugar intake, cooking at home more, drinking more water), but I am going to be big for a very, very long time still obviously.
I do okay if I’m having a normal/good day, but the problem is the second I feel judged or insulted or belittled by someone, whether I know they’re actually feeling/thinking about my body negatively or not, I spiral. I feel like I’m beyond hope and like there’s no point in trying because I’ve ruined so much of my life and my body already.
And then I get the incredibly strong urge to eat garbage (namely fast food). I am smart! I know that A (eating fast food and emotionally eating) = B (being fat)! But I still cannot control myself and eating junk is literally the only way I can get the emotional spiraling to pause for a second. It is such a stupid problem because I can see it’s only making my situation worse, but I have no idea how to help myself anymore.
Any advice from people who have been here and gotten through it? I need help.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/slicwm/feeling_self_conscious_about_my_weight_makes_me/
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