Today has been a rough day for me. My grandmother passed away in the midst of December last year and it had happened so quick I didn't really have time to process it. My grandma and I were pretty close, I would visit her when I was in highschool and once I went to college and moved 3 hours away I would call and check up on her throughout my semesters until I came back to my family for the holidays.
She was the best person ever. Had a heart of gold and was full of unconditional love for her children and grandchildren. And even though she hated being on the phone she would always pick up and listen to my stories of college.
The thing is, I was doing fine. I was sad the first 2 weeks after the funeral but with college and getting married I had to pick myself back up. However today I was just going about my normal class schedule and thought about telling my grandma about how school was going. But then I was reminded that she was gone. I couldn't tell her.
And it hit me like a truck. The whole day has been emotional crying and when I am not crying it's because I distracted myself for a bit. But with intense emotions like these I always have the urge to revert to my comfort of eating. Eating lots and lots of food. Which my therapist and I have been working on. But today has been the hardest urge to fight of all time. I eat my normal meals but am constantly tempted to go over my CICO limit. And I'm just not sure what to do to cope anymore. Cause as we all know, just one night of binge eating can almost reverse all the good you've done. I know it's okay to make mistakes but this is something I'm working on mentally and physically to better myself.
Sorry for the rant. It's just been a hard day. And Moderators if this goes against any of the rules please let me know.
[link] [comments]
source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/spiao9/been_fighting_the_urge_to_emotionally_binge_eat/
No comments:
Post a Comment