I’m new to this community and frankly posting on reddit in general so I guess I’d like to start this off by saying that I’m only posting this to get shit off my chest, and I don’t expect anyone to read or respond to my post. However, if anyone does see this and relates to my story, I would love to hear from you. I just ask that you are respectful, and please don’t give anybody unsolicited weight loss advice, thanks. I’m 19, female, 5’5”, and currently 218 lbs. I don’t have a specific goal weight, I’d just like to get to the point where I feel and look good. I’ve been overweight my whole life, and mistreated for it since I can remember. I was teased in elementary school, of course. I thought I’d be prepared for the bullying I knew I’d face in middle school, but nothing could prepare me for the abuse. I remember adult men sexualizing me from the age of 10 or maybe even younger. I was raped for the first time at age 14. It may sound dramatic, but I swear everything changed for me at that point. I starved myself, I began to self harm, and I really, truly hated myself. At some point in my teenage years I was sex trafficked. I was horribly abused to the point that it hurts too much to recall those memories, so I cannot. PTSD still affects me severely. I never finished high school, as I was homeless since the age of 15. I binged whenever I could. I gained so much weight. At first i would fluctuate since i would starve myself intermittently to offset the weight gain from my binges, but at some point i stopped caring. My highest weight/starting weight was around 240 and i’ve been trying for a couple weeks now. I just really hope that this is the time i stick with it long enough to see results. I still have intrusive thoughts and i still relapse by starving myself sometimes because it’s difficult learning how to really care for yourself, but I’m trying and i don’t intend on stopping. I am currently seeking therapy to help heal my relationship with food and my body, as well as heal from my past.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/v85256/finally_committing_to_weight_loss_tw_for_sh_ed/
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