I’ve been overweight for close to 2 years now and feel depressed. Even when I get back into a healthy weight bracket (working on that now), I’m afraid things will never be the same. My body will never go back. The stretch marks won’t go away. My breasts won’t go back to how they were. People have seen and commented on my weight during this time of my life and I’m afraid it will always be looked back on as “the time I let myself go.” I hate how there are photos of me that exist on other people’s phones. I don’t want to be congratulated on my weight loss when it happens. I don’t want people to say anything at all. I’m afraid sugar addiction and restrict / binge behaviors will always be a struggle, even when I’m healthy. I’m afraid that no matter what the scale says, I’ll be dissatisfied and unhappy. There was a time I was anorexic, and even when I was underweight, I hated my body. Even when I recovered and got healthy again, I hated my body. How could I ever love myself now? I’ve been isolating lately because of my depression and anxiety and the shame. I don’t have enough money to get new clothes right now, so everything I’ve been wearing is cheap and unflattering. I wear the same few “outfits” over and over again, and my family judges me for it. I’ve had a few days of good, healthy eating. I’m feeling hopeful right now but also deeply sad.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/vdzzh5/afraid_ill_never_love_myself_a_vent/
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