I'm 26 and had body image issues since I was young mostly because of the women in my family always making a comment about my weight. I'm 4'11 and 190lbs now but that's very recent and before 2020 I was 165/170lbs but when I hit my current weight I didn't know what I looked like until I saw a full body picture. I didn't even realize that I hadn't been taking full body pictures. But what actually blew my mind was that I didn't feel different in my body like this is the size I felt like I was since I was younger you know?? The feeling of how much space you're taking up I would always try to like keep my legs as close as possible if we had to squeeze in the back of a car. And I had to go find a picture of myself at 14 because I specifically remember this tankini bathing suit my mom made me buy with boyshorts because I was too big for a bikini. I was so small! I was already 4'11 by then and probably 130lbs?? And in that photo my cousin was standing next to me in a bikini and she was bigger than me (she's like 7 years older) and my mom was complimenting her body but I felt so uncomfortable and barely sat down that entire day without wrapping a towel around me because I didn't want people to see how big my stomach was. That was a crazy realization!
And since then I've been unable to stick to workout plans. I used to dance 4x a week because I was on a dance team so I used to be active but now I don't even want to go on a walk. Working out to lose weight feels like I am "giving in" to what they want?? And I don't want them to be happy about my weight because why were they so obsessed and why are they still? I took a walk to get starbucks and my mom called me to tell me I have to walk every day if I want to see results and first thought was "Now I'll just have to sit on my a** and never get up."
Does anyone have any advice on how to idk make this about me and what I want? Not sure how to separate wanting to lose weight to be healthier and being upset that they'll be like oh finally.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/vg9027/advice_welcome_not_sure_what_to_call_it_but_my/
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