F, 23. 5'3". CW: ~170lbs. TW: 140lbs/135lbs.
This will be a long post. I just feel... Lost?
I've always been on the heavier side. I deal with bad anxiety and I found comfort in food. I was and am an anxious eater. Also, my senior year of college I ended up with two really bad knee injuries. (I couldn't walk without being in pain for 4 months. I basically overworked a muscle in both knees and my knees got SUPER SWOLLEN.) I went from 171lbs to 191lbs. Over a year later and my knees are getting stronger again.
I have several issues and I just need to throw stuff out here. I'm putting these issues out here because I think they are relevant to why I'm struggling. I'll put some stuff in bullet points because I find it easier. Also, I highly suspect I am neurodivergent/have inattentive ADHD. (I know it may not seem relevant, but trust me, it is.)
1.) Food sensitivities
Plain and simple- I struggle with food. Foods like pineapple, carrots, oranges, and salads (plain and with dressing) are things I just cannot eat. I have TRIED and TRIED, but these foods make me gag or, if I do eat them, I'll get stomachaches. These foods end up in the dumpster fairly quickly. This has lead me to eat "safe" foods. (Cottage cheese, chicken/ham/turkey, peas, corn, pizza, pasta, etc.) I know diet is a large part of losing weight. I've been trying to cut back on portions and I've seen a LITTLE improvement. I don't know how to diet whenever my pool of safe foods is already so small.
2.) Impulsivity.
I will try to cut back on portions, and then I'll completely botch my diet somewhere else. I'll eat ice cream for dessert. Again. I'll get a soda. Again. I'll eat a healthy lunch and then eat too much pasta for dinner. I know I don't need it, yet I still do it. It's the rush I get. I also tend to eat REALLY fast, which I know that's not a good thing. Again, that is something I'm trying to work on.
This also leads into another issue that is sort of related to impulsivity. I cannot keep a schedule. I try to so much. I walk 2 miles in the morning and 2 miles a night. I got into a schedule last month of sprinkling jogs between certain mile markers during my morning walks. I couldn't do my morning walk one morning (I was on a road trip that day) and I completely forgot about that schedule until two weeks later. It's not that I purposely didn't do it. I flat-out forgot. I've tried journaling. I've tried sticky notes. Nothing works. I don't know how to keep an exercise schedule. I feel like I'm self-sabotaging myself. Completely unintentionally.
3.) No access to gym/very limited exercise equipment.
I am unemployed. (I've got a large stack of rejection emails. Trust me, I'm trying.) I cannot afford a gym membership. So, I basically am stuck with whatever my parents have. We have: a few light handweights, a small floor trampoline (unopen), SEVERAL resistance bands, weighted wristbands (if that makes sense?), weighted balls (ones with handles and ones without), yoga balls, a few floor ellipticals (new), and a Wii Fit. (Listen, I've heard how ineffective the Wii Fit is, but I'm throwing it in anyway.) I also own my own Fitbit Versa that I use to track milage. I don't know where to even begin or how to use what I've got. Mainly I've been sticking to walking and jogging because, well, I know how to do that and I can easily track that.
4.) My knees/feet.
I've sustained knee and ankle injuries from 6 years of marching band. Even tho my knees are better, I really need to take into consideration that my knees are not what they once were. I'm TERRIFIED of injuring them again, thus making it hard for me to try to push myself. I already injured my knees once and reinjured them yet again. (I tried to do some stair exercises. Big mistake.) I'm not going through a knee injury a third time. Most exercises I've seen are not made for someone with my knees. Anyone have any resources for me to use in regards to modified exercises?
I feel like I'm rambling. I honestly don't know where to begin. I feel as though I'm just being stubborn and that my own issues aren't even real. But I'm trying. Genuinely. I am. It just feels like my brain is in my own way. I feel as though the exercise tips and routines I read about are not made for someone who is like me. And it makes me feel disheartened whenever these routines don't work for me.
I want to be able to fit into my old clothes, even if it's just going from an XL to a L again. I REALLY BADLY want to drop my bra size SO SO badly. But, I just don't know how to. I don't know how to exercise as a neurodivergent person.
I'm hoping I'm making sense. I have been terrified to post here for a while because I feel like people will just say I'm lazy. But I genuinely am trying. But my 4 mile a day walks aren't cutting it anymore. What tips or resources do y'all have? I'm tired of my clothes not fitting me. I'm tired of the back pain because of my chest. I just need any scrap of help.
If you read all this, thank you. I genuinely appreciate it. I hope y'all have a good day!
[link] [comments]
source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/nvnq8n/no_idea_how_to_startgoing_in_circles_when_i_begin/
No comments:
Post a Comment