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Weight Loss for Everyone: Angry at myself for letting myself go..

Friday, June 25, 2021

Angry at myself for letting myself go..

Me, 41, male, successful. I had my first physical recently and was called "obese" for the first time in my life by another human being. Obviously, she was just using my BMI and not being insulting in any way, but it hit me like a ton of bricks. You see, I was really, really fit as a kid and into my 20s. This is probably a common refrain/ My parents, of course, saw to it that I ate as good as possible. Going out to eat was a treat. We didn't have like soda in the house. A big part of it was that my sister was very overweight starting from age 10 and on. So, as a family we all kind of had to go along with this, and not stock anything that was super unhealthy.

As a kid though, and someone who was VERY active I guess I learned to see these as a reward. Something sought after. I hit my late teens and had a well paying job and I was like take this mom and day. I'm going to get a soda from the machine WHENEVER I want. I'll order pizza or eat out WHENEVER i want. Older friends warned me, you'll be fat if you eat like that into your 30s. I didn't listen, because I lived in the city and while I ate like a goat, I walked like 3-5 miles a day as I had no car. I put on a slight beer gut (my healthy weight is 160, I maybe hit 170 during my "heavy" times). No big deal. I got a good amount of attention from both straight women and (presumably) gay men. It was like a different lifetime. I am not saying I deserved love because I was fit, everybody deserves love. But being fit definitely made me more confident.

Now, I am older and live alone. Food is like my friend, my hobby, my lover. It's like a whole different world I live in vs my younger days. I find myself at like 210 lbs, and I need to lose 50 lbs. I am still very healthy for now, but I don't want to tempt fate. I am depressed though because I know it's a loooong way away back to being fit. I wanted to drop weight during COVID but I probably ate more than I had before since I'm home and I have access to MORE food in my town than my office. I guess I need a little motivation as I'm a tad depressed.

submitted by /u/nexusmoonshot
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/o7pxmo/angry_at_myself_for_letting_myself_go/

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