(F, 24) Sorry for the long post in advance.
I've struggled basically my whole life with weight issues. I can't think of one specific thing that caused my weight gain other than the fact that I've always loved food. I started getting a little chunky around 2nd-3rd grade. I was 9 years old when I had to get my first kids sports bra and nobody else in my class was developing the way I was. I think part of the contribution to my weight was that I always felt deprived. We never had sugared cereal as a kid, not many desserts, my parents were always very aware and seemed almost afraid that I would be heavy. So when I went to my cousins or my friends' houses, I would eat all the sugared cereal, candy, ice cream, pizza, etc. before I had to go back home. Basically I learned binge eating at a young age.
I appreciate that my parents tried to provide healthy foods for me, but for some reason it didn't stick, and I always wanted what I couldn't have. I went to a very small school that didn't have any sports or music program. So I grew up without really having a hobby or much activity in my life.
Fast forward to high school when I was on my first real diet...weight watchers. But I did it completely the wrong way. I would rather spend my last 10 points of the day on chips & salsa than on something with protein that would actually fuel my body. I would basically starve myself to stay within my point range and I was so fatigued all the time. When I stopped that, the weight just came back and has kept going up and up since then.
When I got a job and had my own money and more freedom, I was able to buy my own food and eat what I wanted and get all the things I never had as a child and I have been stuck in those habits for so many years. Now I am a nurse, but I feel like I'm drowning in life. I'm not a good example to my patients. I'm always exhausted. It's hard for me to put on my socks, or quite frankly to even wipe my own a**. Being a nurse, I know the risks of my lifestyle, but I cannot find the momentum to start and stick with something. Depression and anxiety have taken a hold on me for many years and I want to break free.
I'm 5'3" and 240lbs. My fat sticks in the most disproportionate places and I don't think I've ever felt so ugly. I'm sick of feeling awful and I want to change my life. I'm asking for your support and any advice or ideas you have for me. If you have read this whole long post, I would love to hear from you.
[link] [comments]
source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/o7t3fk/i_think_im_ready_to_change_my_lifewith_your_help/
No comments:
Post a Comment