I struggled with weight my whole life and I’ve been put on diets since before the age of 10, so as you guys can probably conclude, I’ve had a terrible relationship with food since I was very young. I’m now putting myself on a diet not only to lose weight and keep it off but to learn how to eat long term and un-learn the terrible habits and mindsets I’ve adopted over the years, like comfort eating and starving for most of the day and eating until I almost felt sick later in the evening.
Now my mom (and many of the people that have been in my life) has shamed my body on multiple occasions both subtly and bluntly. Classmates and even strangers have bullied me over my weight my whole life but some of the most cutting remarks came from my family. They would say things that would upset me and when i reacted they’d say it was a joke and that I’m too sensitive/weak minded, so I’m left questioning my sanity. My mom would lecture me about having confidence and say things about my physical appearance in the same breath. When other relatives would say things about my weight, I never heard her defend me once. I even once overheard her complaining to my stepfather about me never getting a boyfriend because of my size one night but if I brought it up, she’ll probably just tell me it never happened.
So earlier I was making myself some overnight oats in the kitchen to eat in the morning when she popped up and tried to see what I was up to. My demeanor changed from being comfortable and relaxed to panic mode and “please get always from me”. She got visibly upset and said she didn’t do anything to me and asked why I’m acting the way I am. I instantly felt bad for my reaction, but i can’t seem to be able to tell her that because of the remarks she would make, all the nice and positive things she has to say about my body and eating habits now have lost all credibility.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/nvn8x6/getting_this_off_my_chest_real_quick/
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