For some background: I decided to stop eating sweets like candy, cake, cookies, etc because I wanted to decrease the amount of sugar I’ve been eating. I new this would be a challenge because I live with my family. I decided if I could do it until Easter I’d let myself some then. Well todays Easter and I did it. I should be happy right?
Well I was happy. Happy for making it here and decided to let myself have some sugary foods I’ve been refusing myself. Then I realized that there’s literally no good sugary foods in the house at the moment. I ate other sugary foods though. Some candy, chocolate and cookies. I should feel okay about it. I mean I went a week without sugar and allowed/planned this day but it feels like a waste.
What I ate didn’t taste good. It only made me feel worse. I’ve never liked this stuff before. I don’t know why I thought I’d like it now. I completely wasted this on disgusting food I’ve never really enjoyed and I feel like an absolute failure. I was so excited to be able to allow myself a cheat day and instead of using it on foods I enjoy and just enjoying Easter I used it on this shit.
More context: I’ve been sorta dieting a lot recently. Not strictly but I’d pick healthier options at restaurants, better things at home, it caused a lot of stress and I had to refuse myself A LOT. I had to skip dinners to make my own thing, not meetup with friends, sometimes go home hungry because I forgot to make myself a healthy lunch to eat at school or to bed hungry because I didn’t make enough for myself to eat when my family is having something that I didn’t feel comfortable eating. I decided to lessen sugar after seeing progress on the scale but not in the mirror. I’ve been doing this “dieting” stuff for a month or two now and the “no sweets” for a week
I feel so pathetic, selfish and privileged. Now I’m to full to even go and get something I’d enjoy. This day was just full of eating something to see if I like it, not liking it but taking another one to see if maybe I would like it. Cuz maybe it’d be worth it right? Nope of course not. Now I’m just emotional and embarrassed and crying. Crying over my weight, appearance, choices and everything else going on in my personal life. I feel like there’s no such thing as “release”
Sorry for the vent. Can anyone relate?
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/u5z70x/i_ate_sugar_for_the_first_time_in_awhile_and_am/
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