Is being overweight most of my life causing me to self sabotage my weight loss?

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I have been overweight most of my life as a child and still hit a growth spurt and then I was a good-sized and then I he came over weight again then lost weight after college and then put weight back on and more when I joined the gym and my hunger increased. I have always been a medium sized and by that I mean I'm average size but I actually weigh more than people think. I have tried to lose weight more times than I can count and I am not somebody who is good at pushing themselves or having discipline. I'm wondering if maybe the fact of just sort of always been like this is causing me to self-sabotage my healthy eating out of fear change? Has anyone else dealt with this weird fear and how did they get over it?

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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ub9qbv/is_being_overweight_most_of_my_life_causing_me_to/

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