I just need to get this out of my head to kickstart my new journey. Read or skip, I don’t mind.
I used to be a very frequent visitor on this sub when I lost my weight five years ago. Being normal weight was the best experience I ever had in my 24 years. It made me more confident, I looked good (hell I even worked as a paid model once) and I was able to wear all the nice cloth I always dreamed of. I am the type of person that always says that fat people can’t have nice cloth, even tough it is a lie. There is nice looking and fitting cloth for all sizes.
How I gained it all back.
It all started about 2 years ago. I was studying abroad for a semester in Seoul and was in constant „but I am on holiday“ mode so I ate whatever I wanted and didn’t count any calories, calories where my gods before that. I don’t know how much I gained in Korea but it was quite a bit, but the important part is that it was naturally. It got much worse when I got back home again.
The pandemic hit just a month after I came home and it hit me hard. I can gladly say that I didn’t lose anyone that I knew to corona. I only lost myself.
Corona and homeoffice made me depressed as hell. I am that type of person that needs to work outside of his home. I was working as a freelance writer/copywriter on the side and always went to a nice cafe or to the library to write. I simply can’t work from home and I hate to be confined to my tiny two room flat.
I started day drinking and over eating, at least one of those daily, if not both. It now goes so far that I order food that would be enough for three people and eat it all in one sitting. Feel sick the whole day afterwards. And i even Max out my fkn. Credit card doing so, putting my depressed soul and my Small student wallet into debt.
No one around me knows this but they sure see how fat I become over the last two years. I am ashamed about myself and refuse to see some friends that I haven’t seen in a longer time so that they don’t see what I have become.
This has to stop. My health, my brain and my wallet is suffering under my destructive behavior and this right here will be a new beginning.
Thank you for reading this. Love you all.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/nrr12o/i_lost_50_kilos_and_gained_it_all_back_by/
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