I made a post that I deleted out of insecurity about 8 or so months back, maybe November, where I talked about how I weighed myself and found out that I was 516 pounds and essentially had a meltdown. Since then I've half-ass tried different methods to alter my eating habits and I would describe the entire process as one step forward, ten steps back. I've tried intermittent fasting, OMAD, eating less carbs, counting calories, and none of it sticks. I can't seem to gather the will power to commit myself to one of those methods, and I feel like I'm at my limit, mentally. It's almost as if some part of me doesn't want to lose the weight, despite it being my biggest goal in life currently. I keep ordering fast food because working a full time job and then having to cook a meal is mentally exhausting. Even when I do cook something I get tired of eating it more than once or twice. I thought eating chicken a ton would be my ticket out of this mess but it turns out I can get tired of it pretty quickly.
A lot of you reached out and made suggestions and offered advice and help and I don't think I mentioned how much that meant to me. A large portion of my life is self inflicted toxicity and negativity, with self perceived slights against me that I use to enable myself to wallow in a shitty mental state and negative attitudes. To put myself out there with my weight and insecurities, and to be met with nothing but positivity and advice and support, it was mind blowing, and it means more to me than you'll ever know.
A large chunk of the advice I got was to see a doctor asap, and I still haven't managed to do that. Mostly because of my financial situation, partly because of my fears of what I might hear. At this point I'm legitimately at a loss of what to do. If I don't do something about this now, while I'm still "young" at age 30, I won't live to see age 40. Probably won't live to see age 35 at this rate. I've seen people, even close friends, make extraordinary life changes and shake off hundreds of pounds, which has been a huge inspiration, but has also made me question why I can't get my own shit together and make those changes myself.
I apologize in advance for the long post, I mainly made it to try and hold myself accountable. I may come back and edit it with more information because I'm sure there are things I've forgotten to mention. I'm just so lost and afraid I have no idea what I'm going to do.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/nweb4d/still_500_pounds_and_in_need_of_serious_help/
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