I lost 50lbs 6 years ago and I gained 20 back through the years and now I want to lose them all again but it is exhausting. It is like I don't know who I am without dieting. If I am not dieting hard then I am not dieting at all and I am yo-yo-ing these 10 pounds for 3 years. Once I get 10 pounds off it takes me three weeks and I am back at it again. I know it is not healthy. I am exercising, but I am always trying new things and it is so hard to stick to one thing because my daily life is so unpredictable because of my job and university and I keep telling myself once I graduate I'll be able to lose the 20 pounds but it's like I am always finding an excuse. I feel like I am trapped in a box. It's not that I look terrible but maybe that's the worst part, because I say oh well, it's not that bad... and then I go and eat ice cream. But once I am strictly dieting I restrict on having lunch with friends or having a drink with a guy, and I am 24 I do wanna do all those things. I am aware that it is supposed to be a lifestyle, and it is, but the lifestyle I want is super strict, exhausting and does not include my friends and family and I don't know how to balance. I even started hating my friends because they ''keep me away from my goals''. Which is not true. They are just there. And I am so hateful. It seems impossible. I am trying with this self-image change meditations but I honestly feel very sad and less hopeful. Sorry for the rant I had to write it somewhere. For everyone that is doing this, great job and I am super proud of you! This shit is hard.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/nzy4bs/i_am_tired/
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