Despite trying I end up failing

TW: ED

hi everyone, I (F,18) used to be an extremely petite child. Despite that I was told early(like 7) that I was fat. Well I turn 10 and hit puberty FAST. I went from 4’11 to 5’5, no cup to almost a D cup and 85lb to nearly 125. I’ll admit I was a bit shocked to say the least but the problem came when I started getting fat shamed by my family and family friends. So I ate, and ate and ate. I developed a bad binge ED and they started to purge the older I got. Well all that happened was I gained 100lbs I’m 5’7 and now have majorly fucked up teeth. I’ve been like that for about 3 years now and I’m not too terribly effected by it but I’m to the point where I want change. So yesterday I sat down made a plan and was doing good today (typically I don’t even last 12 hours). Then I had the world’s worst doctors appointment and then got broken up with. I want to continue and try to get better and lose this weight but instead I binged for the first time in MONTHS. I’m so sick of this being the outcome but I just want to feel better about the way I look but I just feel like I can’t. Any advice?

submitted by /u/scorptilla
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/10vqfl2/despite_trying_i_end_up_failing/