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Friday, August 13, 2021

Reached a backslide point and need advice; stopping being the enabler of binging in my house

31F. SW 300, CW 280.

I've lost 20 lbs so far and I'm pleased with progress though I still have a long way to go. I am dedicated to becoming healthier. But I have reached the point in the change where I always backslide and I need a way to stay the course. The backslide trigger point is that my spouse has started complaining about seeing my healthier food in the house, and begging me multiple times a day to end this change and just binge with him.

I'm the grocery shopper of the house. I'm still buying him all the stuff he asks for, except sweets, because that is a weak point for me. It's far easier for me to have willpower at the grocery store than at home. I'm buying fruit instead. I'm still getting him chips and sugary cereal and ramen and frozen pizza and whatever else he wants. I'm also not bringing home takeout anymore, just as much for budget reasons as for health. Those are literally the only things affecting him and I've told him if he is really jonesing for sweets or takeout he's welcome to go get them on his own.

I'm not asking him to change anything, I'm only asking him to respect my changes. ​He says he wants to be healthier too and he knows he's being irrational. He feels judged by seeing my healthier foods in the pantry and on my plate. And even more, he feels like I'm forcing unwanted changes in our marriage by no longer using binge eating as a bonding mechanism.

I recognize that I was an enabler and co-binger for years because I'd buy whatever he asked for and indulge alongside him. Our diets and our spending were out of control. It feels very much like recovering from an addiction. But I can't live that way anymore. Is there any answer to this besides just powering through? And if it just means powering through, any tips on finding additional willpower? Because of course I still crave these behaviors too, but I can't give up on myself again.

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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/p41saq/reached_a_backslide_point_and_need_advice/

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