I've been having a chronic pain/a medical problem for the past 8 months which has not been figured out yet by doctors. It started out by me losing 20lbs in a month because I couldn't eat because it hurt so bad (got a stabbing pain in my epigastric area and left shoulder blade when I would eat). I also developed extreme anxiety when this happened which I've never had before. My lowest weight I think was 140lbs (I am 5'9F). So not skeletal, but fairly thin and I wasn't eating and that wasn't good. I developed cramps in my legs and tons of problems from not being able to eat. I was hospitalized in a chronic pain ward that was also a psych ward, treating chronic pain with antidepressants in an off-label use.
Common suspects like hiatal hernia and gallbladder were ruled out. I think that once a doctor rules out common things they just sort of wash their hands of you because they don't know how else to help you.
One of the doctors I saw in the hospital put me on cymbalta and mirtazipine to make me gain weight and soothe GI and nerve pain. It helped my anxiety and insomnia (the insomnia is partially due to the fact that my heart rate randomly shoots up in the middle of the night while I am sleeping and wakes me up), but it made me gain so much weight. When I was discharged I started eating like crazy even though it is still excruciatingly painful because I am so upset about not being diagnosed yet. Now I have gained 60 lbs and weigh more than I have in my entire life. I weigh 210 lbs now which is actually inconceivable to me. I always had a decent metabolism and I think my highest weight was 165.
I do think the extra weight has actually soothed my nerve pain a bit for reasons I'm unsure of (maybe because it has put some fat between the nerves in my back that were being rubbed raw). But I am inconsolable about the weight gain.
I think that cymbalta and mirtazipine may have permanently altered my metabolism. I stopped taking mirtazipine about a month ago and I still have yet to shed a pound. I don't even eat that differently from before this all started but for some reason my body just grabs onto every pound like its life depends on it.
If this were just weight gain, I would be okay. But the fact that I have to deal with undiagnosed chronic pain and discomfort that is unresponsive to medications, not being taken seriously by doctors, and weight gain is really making me beyond depressed.
None of the clothes fit me and I just look disheveled all the time. On top of that I get dizzy when I try to walk for too long which has been a problem since this all started, and doctors have not been able to help me with it. I am sedentary because it hurts to move around and I am dizzy all the time, and the only comfortable position I can find is laying on my stomach. Because when I lay on my back, my upper back is excruciatingly painful. I have a bulge in my lower back which feels like a hernia, and it feels like all my abdominal organs are being dragged through my back. When I push it back in everything feels aligned again.
Now on top of everything, none of the doctors take my pain seriously anymore because I have gained so much weight. So now, on top of being sick and in pain, I feel I have to lose weight in order for doctors to take me seriously.
Anyway this is just a vent post.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/p1frp7/rant_would_love_to_talk_to_someone_for_moral/
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