Just Tired

I am 32M, 6 Feet 0 inches.
Over the course of 15 years i have in a vicious cycle of losing and gaining weight from 70Kg to 80Kg to 75Kg to 90Kg to 85 to 80 to 90 to 100 to 95 to 107 to 100 to 80 to 100 again.

It's a really tiresome process and it hurts, lots of ups and downs and there is always an up after a down and a down after an up but one fact remains constant: I am always in mindset of struggling to lose weight. I did everything, played sports, ran (even a half marathon), eat well, prepared my food, low carb, low fat, gym membership, .... all the tips and tricks, but it always comeback to hit me in the face.

Sometimes it feels like I need a psychologist not a diet doctor to teach me how to stop eating, actually looking back on this journey it feels like I was in my best shape when i was in a good psychic shape [ if there is something like that]

I want to break the loop, I don't want to be fat, neither I want to be a thin person struggling to be thin
I want it to be fine to cheat and not gain weight
I want it to be fine to stop sports for a month and not gain weight
I want to be one of the thin people

It's really hard and I am tired. I keep reading the posts here and feel like ... so what it will come back again. I don't mean to spread negative emotions, I just can't escape the idea of the inevitability of the final result.

Maaaaaaaaan it's hard ... may all the "fat in the bellies and tummies" in the world die and never be revived again.

submitted by /u/blend1n
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ovq1g1/just_tired/