f21, 5’7. new starting weight 180 gw: 150
these past few weeks maybe 3 i’ve been feeling like i’ve lost my mind. i don’t know what happened but i started binging like crazy. i use food as a coping mechanism. before i was 140-145 ish and i stepped on the scale and i’m 180. i’m dehydrated and havent pooped and binged yesterday
this major and rapid weight gain is something i knew would happen with the way i was eating but i just couldnt stop myself. i had an all or nothing mindset and i felt unworthy and i turned to food and alcohol to cope numb myself again. i don’t know if any of it is water weight but i’m estimating i’m actually 175 ish pounds.
i feel disgusting i am disgusting. i was doing so well and i think one day the depression just made me snap and one day of binging turned into weeks. ice cream for breakfast, peanut butter binges. eating things high in calorie for almost every mean, eating when not hungry, eating when sad, when happy. not exercising. i know it’s hard to believe i’ve gained that much weight in less than a month but it’s been binge after binge daily.
i’m going back to school and have to see everyone i havent seen in a few months i don’t want to hear the comments or even know that they could visibly see the weight gain.
i can’t fit my clothes anymore and i don’t have it in me to buy new ones but i need them now
i need to treat my body correctly and get back on a healthy track of eating. i’ve probably fucked up my insides big time.
no one can help me but myself and this is how im holding myself accountable. i’m embarrassed to talk to anyone about this but i really need encouragement and for someone to tell me i’m okay
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/p8pdos/having_to_get_back_on_the_horse/
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