So this a couple of weeks ago I was part of a friends wedding. It had a theme and a group of us dressed up in fancy dress as a surprise for the bride.
Since last year Ive gained 35 pounds. I know its not the worst but I went from being fit and active with a pretty standard build to bigger than I ever thought I'd be. I gained the weight after an accident left me immobile for a few months but I could have lost it by now if I'd tried harder.
I know it's selfish and the wedding wasn't about me at all and that's why I'm venting here instead of to anyone I know. But I just feel so disgusting with myself. I barely recognise the person in those pictures and I just feel so gross that so many people will see them and that's what I actually look like in real life. I also feel so silly because I actually felt confident in it, I had my hair done nicely and it seemed to fit well and for the first time in weeks I actually felt pretty and confident. Now I'm just realising that I was wrong and I looked awful the whole time and I feel such a fool. I actually kept my costume on the longest because I liked it but now I understand I just looked so stupid and should have changed straight away instead of embarrassing myself. I really don't know how anyone like me who has let themselves go so badly.
I have self esteem issues and this has just sent me spiraling. I've been avoiding going out for months now because I feel so bad about my weight. The last few weeks I managed to drop nearly 5 pounds but I can feel myself getting upset about it again and I'll probably just end up gaining it back when I sad stress eat. I just feel so hopeless that I'll ever be able to look the way I would Like. I feel like I can't show myself in public because most of my clothes don't fit and the ones that do look stretched or unflattering. I feel like I can't face my friends because it's so shameful. My ex is in my social circle and I hate that he's seen me. I feel so uncomfortable all the time and that stops me from working out. I just wish I could motivate myself to actually lose this weight .
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/p9ors6/feeling_awful_about_myself_after_seeing_wedding/
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