Sometimes typing things out helps me process. I started losing in 2016, went from 262lb to 170lb in 2 years. Felt great. Vegetarian, working out all the time. Started school, stress ate my way back up to 205ish. I can’t get my head back in the game and it’s been incredibly frustrating.
I think I was so used to who I was as “fat” me that I didn’t know what to do with myself when I lost weight. Couldn’t make any self deprecating jokes about eating etc. I think I had this realization the other day, as I was feeling self conscious and insecure, I thought damn well this is just comfortable why rock the boat again by losing weight. Yikes.
I need to lose for my health and overall well-being. I think I should have gone to therapy to help with everything instead of insisting on doing everything on my own. After all, I got to this point by doing everything on my own why would I know how to do it and make permanent changes?
My pants don’t fit. When I look in the mirror I can see a double chin forming. I refuse to go back to where I was. I think I need to take it baby steps at a time.
Anyway, losing weight is very hard in more ways than just putting the fork down. Take care of yourselves.
Oh, yea last week a patient was making comments about how “tight” the space in the room was and how she had a “big” friend blah blah. I wanted to say damn I’m still down 60 and I’m working on it get out of my business. But yknow. Professionalism and all that.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/p59176/a_patient_basically_called_me_fat_mental_struggles/
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