I wanted to give you guys an update from my last post! (If there’s a better way to do this other than commenting on that post with updates, please let me know!)
I have seen a mental shift in myself that is subtle but feels permanent. I am essentially correcting myself every time I start to engage in negative self talk. I just put a stop to it and instead choose objectivity, acceptance, being gentle with myself, and finally trying to find something about myself I can feel confident about instead.
Having body dysmorphia is so strange, because it has this element of gaslighting that makes you question both yourself AND the people who love you. If someone compliments my body and I can’t see what they see, it makes me feel like everyone is lying to me to pacify me, and it creates baseless resentment and anger towards that person. It’s so deep rooted and it’s so hard to rewire your brain if you struggle with it. I am a very reasonable, rational person and I’m not quick to anger or resentment or anything like that. But I have to check myself often when people compliment me, because I have been taught by so many that my body is ugly that I have internalized it.
I’m just so proud of the woman I’m becoming despite those fucked up mental barriers that had the potential to destroy me. I am trying so hard to love myself deeply, intimately and truly.
Today I took this picture. I’m sure I’ve lost a few pounds since my last post (as I’ve been incorporating permanent eating, mental, and physical changes into my life) but that isn’t my concern at this moment. Instead, I’m proud that I can look at this body, post it on the internet, and say to myself, “you are beautiful and your body is lovable. There are so many things about you that are lovable! “
That’s all! Thanks for reading. :-) 💕 so much love to whoever this finds. Keep going! You’re so beautiful.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/m03486/nsv_body_dysmorphia_body_positive_progress/
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