Hello folks, this is my first post here. I've been lurking for quite a while (I think almost ever since I got a reddit account like four years ago) and I just don't even know where to begin. I (22M) feel like I've struggled with my weight for my entire life and trying to lose any honestly feels hopeless, at this point I pretty much just want to try an accept that I will just be fat for the rest of my life.
Currently, I am around 270 lbs (122 kgs) and around 5'8". Food has been an obstacle for me my entire life, I have always had a chubby belly and a round face and the lightest I ever was was like 150 lbs (68 kg) when I was like 14. By the time I finished high school I was 180 (81) and halfway through my freshman year of college I remember getting on the scale and it being a big 2-0-0 (90). I slowly just continued to gain weight as college went on and have been stable at my current weight now for like a year since I graduated.
I know I have an unhealthy relationship with food, its my big comfort. I also have kind of an addictive personality, and have always been in the "finish everything on your plate" mindset and "there is always room for dessert" mentality. Plus discovering alcohol has not been good for my weight either (and teetering on alcoholism).
Mainly I just don't know how any of you on here do it. I go through this sub and read the success stories and I'm shocked. I feel like its impossible for me to even lose a couple pounds, let alone the hundred or so I want to lose. Part of this is that I don't really like cook or prepare food for myself. I'm unemployed rn and very stressed so I end up getting fast food or ordering out almost every day in order to give me that dopamine rush. I also just have a huge anxiety about cooking. I'm not sure exactly what it is, but going to the grocery store is just so overwhelming. I never know what to get and half the time when I do get stuff it just goes bad after a week because I resort back to ordering out.
I did place an order for one of those services that send you ingredients for you to cook. I hope that I can just get used to cooking and the smaller portions so I can get in a rhythm and eventually build up to just grocery shopping. I also have tried calorie counters in the past, in particular this past week I tried to follow a 2000 calorie goal for each day. Monday I ended up having 2800 with just kind of what a normally do. Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday I kinda of just only ate once in the day and starved myself to stay below the 2000. It was pretty miserable and I had hunger pains multiple times throughout the day. And Friday I went out to a brewery with some friends and ended up having a little over 3000 calories (1000 of which was like beer). The app I was using said I was over like 2000 calories for the week, so in order to stay on track I would need to eat like only 1000 calories for the last two days. I gave up because it just seems like if I spend one day enjoying myself I just ruin it for the entire week no matter what I do.
It feels like in order to lose weight I need to be miserable, but I am miserable being this fat. So I have no idea what to do. Sorry if this post is ramble-y or if there needs to be any clarifying information. I feel like if I could lose the first 10 or so I would be able to do the rest, but without seeing any of the progress it just feels like I'm punishing myself by not eating. Thanks for reading folks!
TLDR; I have an unhealthy relationship with food and feel like its an impossible task in order to lose any of the weight
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/mg931a/not_quite_sure_how_yall_do_it/
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