hi. im 5'8, 21 years old, and i weighed in at 365 pounds this evening. after seeing those numbers stare back at me i had a huge panic attack. all i can think of is the damage ive done to my body and whether it is even worth it to try and fix it. i have suffered with weight my entire life. i was diagnosed with pcos back in 2019 but without adequate resources, mental energy, or just willpower tbh i havent been able to manage it. ive been to the doctors and while i am healthy (trust me im a hypochondriac ive had every noninvasive test done), i am terrified that there is no hope for me anymore my entire body aches. im mentally exhausted. im suffering in every aspect of my life. i dont have the energy to toggle everything im going through. my mental illness makes getting out of bed painful, much less anything else. i am in therapy however that is very slow going. i have no money to buy my own food and thus have to eat the junk my family eats. we are impoverished and all so worn down and exhausted from working and battling our own mental issues. i try so hard to implement little sustainable changes and for a month or two ill do amazing, lose 20 pounds, and then gain back 30. i really dont know what to do with myself. ive tried everything. i mean everything. i have been working on having a better relationship with food and making things more sustainable, but after so many trials and errors i honestly just dont know if i ever will be able to live a healthy life. i know this seems really negative but i dont know what to do. im sure there will be people who comment "well you have to want it!" please dont. i do want it, i truly do. i just dont know what i can do anymore. i feel helpless. i feel resourceless. i feel out of options. i dont know what will light a fire under me to be better. its all i think about all the time. i just want to be healthy but existing is exhausting.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/me95fw/is_there_hope/
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