Maybe the reason I liked quarantine so much (very privileged to be able to work from home) was because I didn't have to feel the constant stress of the lining presence of all the other, prettier girls around me all the time. I didn't have to constantly face the appearances of others and myself all the time, to always have that be something someone can notice about me.
Most of quarantine was spent with my partner and close friends, and it was like, if I had an ugly day it didn't matter. I even unfollowed all the influencers from my Instagram feed at one point, and it felt freeing (even if I do personally know some gorgeous people).
I don't feel ready to go back. There are times when I feel like maybe I can lost enough weight by then, but it just keeps coming faster. May 1st, it was announced so suddenly. I can't lose enough by then. I know going back is good for everyone, but... I just feel like I need more time.
But then I just discovered a new Youtuber. She's so beautiful, a model. Even if I get to the same weight as her, I'll never be as pretty as she is. I started crying while looking at her Insta earlier. It makes me feel so inadequate.
Who knows. I've never been that skinny. Maybe my face gains will be surprising.
But for now, there isn't much time. I'll still be average at best, come the return to normal society. We'll have stepped into a renaissance of interaction and events and outings and photographs, and I'm dreading all of it.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/magrxu/i_dont_want_life_to_go_back_to_normal_because_i/
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