I (early 20s) have been working on my weightloss since November. I'm 5'8".
I've been fat almost my entire life (over 200 lbs for about 15 years) but most of that was due to overeating and not understanding how to eat healthily, portion control, or why eating healthy and being active was important. I was losing weight steadily in 2019 due to an active job and deciding to quit drinking soda (I went from 260ish to 230 in about a 6 month period), but quit my job and then I went through a devastating breakup. I used food to cope with the breakup, and then covid happened, which completely removed me from the outside world (I took a break from college and got laid off from my new jobs). I started using my savings to buy Mcdonalds, Burger King, and gas station food every day. All I wanted to do was eat, and I was in such deep denial that I didn't believe I could gain weight from eating this way. I thought I was "fat but fit", and that I could escape the consequences of my actions, without realizing I was destroying myself.
I weighed myself in August of 2020 and was shocked to see I was not only 300 lbs, but almost a quarter of the way to 400. I was 318 lbs. I was devastated. I realized I needed to make changes. Over these past few months I have completely cut fast food out of my life, I never drink soda unless I drink it with alcohol (my alcohol intake is very strictly limited and for very special occasions), and I limit my sugar intake as much as possible. I have also focused on trying to eat mostly from home and whole foods; making my own lunches, avoiding processed/frozen foods, and incorporating more vegetables into my diet. I do not calorie count because I have disordered behaviors around food now (from my binge eating in 2019) so I try to avoid obsessing over numbers (however I tend to round way up when "estimating" calories). I weigh myself every 2 weeks on a specified day, and keep track of my weight on my calendar. On March 10th, my weight was 268.9 lbs, so I have lost almost 50 lbs, which I am very happy with and proud of myself for.
However, I am starting to struggle. My activity level is a lot higher now, because I have 2 jobs since December 2020, and one of them is a highly physical warehouse job where I'm picking up heavy boxes 8 hours a day. I try to get walking in where I can (when I have the energy) and I want to get back into swimming and maybe jogging when I've lost more. But for this past week, I've been making some bad choices. At my weekend job, there was cake in the fridge from a coworkers farewell party (chocolate), and I had one big slice after my home cooked lunch on both days. Today at my other job, I bought a package of the frito lay 260 calorie granny cookies and a 370 calorie package of jalapeno cheddar cheetos and ate them both after I had my lunch I packed. I am trying not to beat myself up about it, but I know I have set myself back, even if it was by only 600 calories today (which is a whole meal!!!). I know I can do this, because I have already lost so much and am almost back to the weight I was before the binge eating, but I feel so discouraged. I don't WANT to eat cheetos and cookies and huge slices if cake that could feed 2 people, I want to be healthy and live a good life and be able to buy more clothes that I like and want. I want to be able to go hiking when I'm 50 and beyond. I want to not feel all this weight dragging me down. I want to know who I am without all this fat that has dictated so much of my life. I feel so desperately alone sometimes in this journey, because most people I've told about it tell me that my weight isn't an issue I should worry about (it absolutely fucking is lol).
These setback snacks have deeply worried me, because I do not want to backslide. I have come so far. I would rather die than be 300 lbs again.
I am also realizing that this first 50 lbs was easy. My body is going to need fewer calories as it loses weight. I am more and more worried about what that means for my lifestyle and the future challenges I am going to face. My goal weight right now is to be under 200 lbs (baby steps) since I haven't ever felt what that's like in my adult life, but my actual final goal is probably around the 130-150 mark. That number feels so impossible even though I know it isn't.
What keeps you going? What tools do you use to keep yourself accountable and successful? How do you deal with the days or even weeks where you make big mistakes? I want to hear from anyone who can relate to what I've said here (I'm sorry this post is long and all over the place. It's a very emotional topic for me, as I'm sure it is for you, too).
Thank you for reading, stay strong <3
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/m8679s/momentum/
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