Like the title says... about 2 years ago, I went from 404 lbs, the heaviest I've ever been, and through going on daily walks and CICO, I dropped down into the 330s after about 4 months. I had never felt better. At at about 1600 a day (sometimes going over). I felt full of energy, felt like so much more confident. Then one day, about 4 months in... I just stopped.
I remember what I was doing that day. I was driving home from work and drove past a McDonalds. I don't know why, but impulsively went through the drive through and got a double quarter pounder meal (large of course) and a 5 piece chicken select. I fucking sat there in my car and ate it all in less than 10 minutes. After that day, I never could keep up CICO for more than 3 days.
Today, I stepped on the scale again and I'm all the way back up to 397. I feel defeated. I feel disgusting. I feel like I'm going to die. This fucking sickness that I can't beat is going to kill me early. I just had my daughter in November. She's 4 months old, and I'm terrified that I'm going to have a heart attack by the time I'm 40 and I'm never going to get to see her become an adult.
Even knowing this... even having this fear. I just feel so helpless. Why can't I get back to whatever I was doing those 4 months? I felt so GOOD. Why can't I just do it? It doens't help that I work in a restaurant where I'm surrounded by food all day. It's so easy to just fill my cup with soda all day every day. All the messed up mistakes in the back free for the taking. I always tell myself I wont have any but next thing I know I'm just shoving it down my throat.
I guess this is a venting thread. I don't know what else to do. I dont want to let myself break 400 again but I feel so helpless.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/m2gj2c/lost_nearly_70_lbs_2_years_ago_today_i_looked_at/
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