Please help me. I’m 34, female. I’m about 350 pounds. My highest weight is 385. I’ve been fat all my adult life, but I’ve had problems with food going back to childhood. I don’t know why I’m failing to save my life. I’m losing everything. My husband of 11 years, my best friend, he’s divorcing me. I just found out. We don’t have any children because I feel getting pregnant at this weight would be dangerous. He needs to be a father, and he’s given up on me being able to have them. This well and truly takes almost everything meaningful from my life. He is my entire world, and I hate myself for not being able to just stop fucking eating so we can have kids and so he doesn’t have to be scared of me dropping dead of a heart attack. It’s not that I don’t care. I fucking care. Why can’t I save my own life? Am I just eternally broken? A child of abuse and neglect that never learned how to overcome anything, just doomed to play out this sad life alone. I already lost the person most important to me in my life once before; my brother. He died. This feels like a death too. And my brother-in-law and my niece.. they mean so much to me, and they’ll be gone too. Why is losing nearly every person I love not enough to FIX ME? HOW do I stop being such a lost cause? If you have something to say, please be kind. Please.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/g0xzmg/im_losing_everything_why_am_i_like_this_how_can_i/
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