I used to be borderline obese and I hated my body. I refuse to count calories because I read a bunch of posts about how that can devolve into disordered eating habits (also laziness). I know that my daily intake is probably in the 800-1600 calorie range, however. I don't weigh myself because I don't have a scale but I can tell my body weight has dropped dramatically in 5 months, clothes that used to be unbearably tight, are now way too big for me. The problem is, the reason I did this was because I thought that nobody would ever love me if I wasn't skinny and that sounds pretty messed up now that I think about it. A couple months ago I wanted to binge & purge and chew & spit until I realized it could actually have health risks, at which point I definitely decided to never do them, but the thought was definitely there for a while. Every time I eat food because I don't count calories, I'm afraid I somehow went over the limit, which is ridiculous because looking back on what I ate some days, I'd be surprised if I went over 800. I'm not sure if I have an eating disorder though because I don't have much food snack food in my house (if I want to eat I usually have to cook a meal), and I'm terminally lazy so there's that as well. I feel like I'm not even close to fat anymore and I'm much happier with my body and that I could stop at any time, but also that I could lose another few pounds. I don't know what to do.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/gar62j/im_afraid_im_developing_anorexia/
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