possible eating disorder trigger
Hello everyone. I'm not sure if this is allowed but it's my story. Like most of you, I've struggled with my weight for most of my life. I'm 18 years old (f) and approx 260 pounds (I'm guessing..i haven't weighed myself in a couple months). My life has really revolved around my weight, yo-yo dieting and seeing little progress.
I'm not really sure when this all started, I remember going to my pediatrician around elementary school and being told I was gaining weight too fast. Entering middle school I really started to obsess about my weight. I googled proana tips/tricks and tried following really strict diets. I remember being really obsessed with seeing my collar bones. I get sad looking back at pictures of when I was in middle school, I don't think I was really that overweight.
Nothing really worked until sophomore year of high school. I was really buckling down into what I think was an eating disorder. I was eating 200-800 calories a day. I joined proana forums and really sunk into that evil world. I lost over 50 pounds. I never felt happier, or more confident in my life. My friends at school commented on how much weight I was losing and how good I looked. All I could think about was counting calories and thinking of my next meal. Until one day I had enough of calorie counting and restricting. I gained it all back.
Going into Junior, and now finishing out senior year of high school, I've gained back all the weight and more. I was diagnosed with PCOS and attended some therapist sessions. I'm miserable and have no sense of motivation or hope that I can lose this weight after so many failed attempts. However, posting this seems like a glimmer of hope and I hope it's a sign of brighter days to come.
Any advice/encouragement is very much appreciated.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/g9zpak/im_tired_of_failing/
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