I don't know where to start and it's not as easy as saying just do cico.

I have a strange history with weight. Very skinny as a child from a big family where you eat what's there or you don't eat because it would be eaten by someone else. I'm a 37 female with two children. Here's my dieting history:

21 years old and 155 lbs and thought I was fat so I did Atkins (it was the in thing).

21-26 years old my weight jumped to 180 and a handful of attempts at weight watchers

27 years old I'd had enough. I was single, no kids and had all the time in the world to devote myself to eating right and exercising. I lost 40lbs and weighed 140 and kept it off for three years. Stayed active and didn't really track what I ate. Life was good but I had moments of hating myself if I fluctuated 10 lbs. At 150 I still hated what I looked like.

Then at 30 years old I got pregnant. Yay! I gained 50 lbs. I lost 35 of it but mostly because I was sick after. Still hated everything about my body.

32 years old I had my second child and gained the 35 back which is ok.

Since the birth of my second child I just couldn't find the time or energy to commit to exercising and eating the way I need to do to lose this weight. I've tried weight watchers,fitness pal, my net diary, 21 day fix, and all of them atempted many times. Still I failed, I weighed 200 lbs.

Last year I kind of dumbly tried Bernstein, lost 40 and within a year I've gained it all back. Funny thing is I still hated myself at 160.

So here I am. For the first time since before children, I'm finding my love of working out again. This is the longest streak of consistent working out in over 7 years. I'm truly loving it. I'm 5 weeks in of 4 exercises a week. Problem is, I haven't lost a pound. I've actually gained 5.

Due to covid, I've not had any take out, all food is homemade, and we do generally eat healthy. I was trying not to focus on food to just focus on one thing at a time as I have a tendency to go all in for short periods to then just fail. I'm the only one in the family with a weight problem. I know my problem before was definitely lunch take out every day.

Where am I going with this? I don't know. I need help. How do I incorporate both eating properly and exercising and not fail? I want longevity again. I also want to be a healthy weight and not hate myself.

This was long, but thanks for reading.

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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/gbc7bt/i_dont_know_where_to_start_and_its_not_as_easy_as/