We've dated since we were both 16, dated through college, live together now.
I’m someone who doesn’t like to tell others what to do, I don’t like to be perceived as bossy or demanding, I don’t like conflict or potentially hurting other’s feelings over “ the truth hurts” crap. Live & let live.
She has put on about 100 pounds since we started dating. Early in high school, she was active, played tennis & swam, but quit, so her 2 pieces of exercise were gone. From there, the list is this: bad cafeteria food, eating poorly in college, booze, snacking with friends, unhealthy dinner dates with me. Statistically, she’s obese.
The way I view it, she doesn’t seem to mind or express any want to change, and I don’t want to be seen, if I were to voice a concern, as the guy who “ fat shames” his girlfriend or as a misogynist or anything, so, I say nothing. Obviously what you weigh at 25 is not going to be what you were at 15, I just don’t want to see her struggles continuing & just for her to get bigger & bigger. As a person, I love her, shes incredible, but just physically, it’s hard to watch her be her weight, and not want change. No, I can’t force change & she has to want it, and for all I know, she’s happy in her body. It wouldn’t be news to her shes put on weight. It’s just, I’m in a spot where, I don’t want to come off like a jerk, but, I don’t want for her to one day wake up deadly overweight.
I’ll do little nudges here and there, just, “ Hey, I’m going for a walk, wanna join?” “If I get this assorted fruit box thing, will you have any?” Always “ no, I’m fine’.
I feel like a horrible person, because, I’ve convinced myself, maybe rightfully, maybe wrongfully, that I’m enabling it by staying quiet.
TLDR: Am I enabling? Is my approach & attitude damaging?
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/g05vel/i25m_blame_myself_for_my_girlfriends25f/
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