Hello, 19F here
On January 1st, I startef my weightloss journey. I was 90kg
I weighed my lowest three days ago, at 73.4kg, sticking to my 1200kcal and daily exercise, yet I feel so unwell.
I used to be always lively, with red cheeks to match my warm personality and could stay up for two days on end and not feel crappy afterward. But now everything changed. I am always tired, lost all color of my face, is losing my hair and messed up my digestive system. I can't empty my stomach if I do not take medicine. I am bloated all the time. I feel crappy all the time. I need to sleep more than 10 hours a day or I will literally pass out and I feel sleepy all day long. I have a mental fog 24/7 and I can't focus on anything but food, and as a medical student, it's taking a huge toll on my sanity. I am always dizzy and unfocused. My productivity levels went down. I am always sad and miserable and my parents took notice. "You're so pale and your eyes are sunken in" is a remark I've heard almost everyday starting the end of February. My relationship with food has worsened. I either restrict myself to exactly what I should eat, nitpicking at every single thing I put in my mouth or I go batshit crazy on food, eating till I throw up just to eat more and more and throw up again and eat more.
The worse thing is that my self-image went down the drains. I thought, as first, that I hated my reflection, but oh boy I was not ready for what's coming. I never used to avoid mirrors. But now I do. I hate myself even more. I wanted to become healthy and have a natural relationship with food but I ended up doing the exact opposite. I am miserable and still is.
I know this isn't good. I can't afford going to a psychiatrist. My parents would refuse taking me to a psychiatrist anyways as it is so stigmatized in my country. I don't know what to do. I am spiraling down. I am stressed all day long and tired all day long and don't know how to satisfy my insatiable appetite.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/g7smdh/i_am_physically_unwell_because_of_dieting/
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