28F 5’3 234. I’m scheduled for vsg on June 15th, I’m excited but nervous. There are so many habits I need to implement now, the only thing I have gotten good at is taking my liquid vitamins everyday and I’ve been trying a lot of vegan protein powders with just water to get used to them. I was diagnosed with major depression after a s/i attempt in 2015, but most of my life I struggled with my weight. The only time I got close to a healthy BMI is when I was on amphetamines when I was a teenager but I was not eating healthy. My lowest was 138. The only time I ever ate healthy was 2015, when I started to adapt the Forks over Knives plant based diet. That is when I learned my body cannot digest meat or dairy. (Minimal Fish/shellfish is okay)
I’m am currently talking to a therapist because my overeating stems from my stepmother withholding food and the physical, sexual and emotional abuse I had to endure growing up. For the second time in my adult life I had to cut off contact from my mother and siblings, the only ‘support’ system I ever known. I used food to comfort me, but I’m at my wits end with my behavior. I’ve done amazing things but I never pull through. For instance last year I saved up to move to Germany for illustration school. When my mother started gaslighting me I returned back just for her and my sibling to squander my savings.
Losing weight is only a drop in a sea of things I’m trying to improve. I still have dreams, I’m still young and I can make them happen. However I need to be the best version of myself. I can’t keep disrespecting myself, pushing my problems aside. More importantly I can’t keep making excuses because I am not big boned, obesity is not genetic and I don’t like how my body looks. No matter how many men compliment me I find myself disgusted. It’s a struggle but much needed character development.
As I plan out meals, find more products, I’m so nervous about exercise part. I know a lot of people think surgery is the ‘easy’ way out but it is just a tool. I still need to have nutritious meals and exercise to succeed no shortcuts especially since I want to be a part of the 73.1% that keeps it off after 5 years. Being a trucker has its pros, I’m an essential worker, I get paid over a grand every week and I don’t need to pay rent because I live where I work. But the setback is this still a male dominated field and as a woman I cannot just strut around wherever I please. I’m thinking of taking laps around my 70ft vehicle could suffice, doing weights in the bunker, along with doing yoga at scenic views.(I definitely want to do this even if it is just a few times a month) I’m looking for communities that do not frown upon people who get vsg and I’m thinking of starting a YouTube channel to keep myself motivated. I think it would be very interesting to showcase the process of becoming balanced in mind, body and spirit no matter the adversities you had to overcome.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/g7tke2/truck_driver_scheduled_for_vsg_6_weeks_out/
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